You're completely useless in the revolution.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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