Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
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If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
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There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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