thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
