and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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