this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
