You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize