garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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