i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Acid is not a monday night drug
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
