They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
