i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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