K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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