I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
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Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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