Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
