some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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