i love accidental penises.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
