Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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