If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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