Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
