The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's great music for shaving your balls
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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