Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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