i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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