just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
