he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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