Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
