Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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