these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
babies were throwing up all over the place
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
