in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize