I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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