if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
