I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
