so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize