Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
