did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
