So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
