Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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