What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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