return my video game
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
