yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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