Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
where are my eyebrows?
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