i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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