I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
