He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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