i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.