that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!