My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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