just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
