the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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