And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
