i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
