i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
