I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
