Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
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I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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