My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
