i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
