So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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